If only everything in life was simple, although that would be rather boring…
When you’re trying to keep focussed on what’s important, it becomes commonplace to be distracted by irrelevance. Take work for example. At different points in your life, your career has varying degrees of relevance, at some moments your world revolves around it; at others you merely work in order to buy shiny things!
Although we spend half our lives at work, it only accounts for a small part of what constitutes a balanced life – whatever that is. Work can be one of the greatest sources of motivation and yet at other times it brings out murderous tendencies when never knew existed! You find it’s the times when we are focussed on the external world and striving for significant change in our non-work lives that the day job becomes irritating in a way that defies logic.
When you’re genuinely unhappy with your work and everything else in your life is fairly balanced then it is easier to actively change it. You have one primary goal, to work somewhere else, yet when we don’t really want to move jobs, as we know that other things are more important, you find yourself in a strange place. You bounce between being not at all bothered by major significant workplace upheavals which prevent you from actually doing the job you are paid for, yet something so minor brings out an unprecedented level of bitching – although that’s just free therapy!
It’s important in these moments to not be distracted about what you really want, what is actually going to make you happy, and will not destabilise you when everything is going so well. Last week I said goodbye to my counsellor after six weeks. We agreed it was the right time to do this and it’s a definite positive move. When I ended my last course of counselling before Christmas, I was very unsure and felt I needed to end it, this time I actually wanted to conclude the sessions the week before. However, I saw the commitment through, which was the right move. Sometimes you can feel confident to take a sudden leap forward, yet that’s not always the best approach. I’m more than guilty of the bull in a china shop approach – perhaps there is something in astrology; I am Taurus. We should never take our focus off what we really want. What will actually make us really happy? It won’t be the materialistic shiny things in the long term.
It is argued that simplicity often creates more anxiety than conflict. If we aren’t battling constantly then are we just preparing ourselves in case we are caught off guard? That’s bollocks (there really is no other suitable word here). Enjoy the simplicity when it comes and when you want to mentally throttle someone, really think about it – do you actually want to do this or is the simplicity boring you? If you allow a touch of routine, normality and nice to haves (rather than must haves) then you’ll find that you realise what actually matters to you.