I appear to have dropped the initial momentum with this blog. I’m blaming this on a cliche that when things are going well the writing no longer has it’s therapeutic qualities so you write less – the best material from well known authors tends to be when they are at their darkest, or so we are led to believe!
I’m abandoning this theory and attempting to blog whilst happy – let’s see if we can get anything deep out there today. Over the past few weeks, everything has gone better than I could ever have hoped – life is not just good, it’s bloody brilliant. However, even happiness is never smooth, yet what I’ve found is the best way to keep yourself on track, with minimal wobbling is to as they say – keep your eyes on the prize! What is it you actually want? The ‘how’ and ‘when’ is the detail, not irrelevant, yet it’s the detail we shouldn’t allow ourselves to get lost in.
Life is full of randomness, and whether it’s at home or work, we find complete random acts of chance can completely throw us off course as we focus on what’s just happened. Why did he do that? Why did this have to happen now? What does she mean when she says that? Why is my boss the reincarnation of satan? And so on…
If we focus on this detail then we forget our purpose – it’s about the result. What is that you want at the end of this? It’s not about getting over something, or ending something. It should always be about attaining something, otherwise it’s not a real goal is it? And this isn’t an appraisal so there is no SMART here – be as vague as you want. I simply want to be happy, I’m there and each day I seek to build on that. There is no end date, or cut off, it’s something I can progress with until the jolly (instead of bitter) end.
Have you ever been in the situation where things are going well and the ‘old woman in the closet’, known as Ms Pessimism is there tapping away, distracting you? She’s been there for years and always appears at the wrong time, causing us to doubt what can be. I haven’t heard for a while and that’s not because I’m blocking her out – even I’m not that good. I believe that this time she has nothing to say. She may be back one day. I like to think I’ll never hear from her again!
It’s only right to be mindful that the past remains there in your conciousness and that’s what helps you to cope with it. You don’t forget, it’s there each day. I think about my mother each day, and my father, yet it’s not a constant – it’s an acknowledgement that the hurt is still there and you’re coping with it each day. It’s when you think of only that, or push it away that you’ll start to forget yourself and lose where you want to be.
My parents would want me to be happy and that I am, what’s important it that you’re honest with yourself each day. Some days you need that special someone to put their arms around you, or it’s as simple as a light touch that reminds you that you’re not alone. You never need to ask for it. Other days you can almost keel over from laughing at memories, and you never feel any guilt.
I realised sometime ago that there is no such thing as closure, you merely move forward in your own time and your own way, reflecting back when you need to. Happiness is not in short supply, it’s there for the taking. It’s what those who have left us want for us, almost as much as we truly do ourselves.