When do we have time to reflect?

As life flies past at an alarming rate it’s easy to just let it take you; especially when it’s good.  Yet when do we reflect?  Not on what could have been; there’s little point in that, it only serves to relive disappointment.  I mean when do we reflect on what was?  Every new and exciting thing that life brings can often bring about the end of something else.

Recently moving in with the love of my life and marrying him – life couldn’t be better, yet a home I shared with my best friend for the best part of a decade and was the setting for numerous epic events came to an end.  I’m not embellishing with the epic sentiment either, my 30th is still talked about, some 3 million years later!

It’s important to acknowledge the things that end; not to dwell on them or remain in the past, but to realise it for what it was – a fantastic period my life that was right for that time.  I said to three close friends when I had dinner with them the night before my wedding – “if it wasn’t for the impact on my life you’ve all had in your different ways then I wouldn’t be getting married tomorrow; you’ve contributed to supporting me become the man I was supposed to be, the man who tomorrow will whole-heartedly commit to another for the rest of his life.”  And I meant it.

As your life evolves, your relationships, be they with your life partner, family or friends evolve with you.  Those that don’t are left behind.  We all have at least one person who at one time in our lives was a very significant and important friend, and now that person is no longer in our lives,  Simply – they were in your life and you in theirs for the time it was supposed to be.  Some stay with us forever and others fleet in and out.  With the growth of social media I am in touch with many old school friends and it’s great to see them doing so well for themselves, yet the chances of us actually meeting up and having the same closeness we had at school is minimal if existent at all.  That’s not a rude thing, that’s just the way it is – people happen, as and when they should.  We can’t shape our fate only respond to it in our own unique ways that make us who we are.  We draw that strength from the others in our lives at that time.

Last week was a year since Mum died, I didn’t do anything significant that day other than take the day off work.  There was no balloon release, no grave to visit.  I don’t believe that you need a significant day to remember or to mourn.  There was a moment that day when I did reflect, however, the sadness wasn’t that she was no longer here, it’s the fact that I’m the happiest I’ve ever been and she’d not here to see that.

We talk about people still being able to watch over us when they’re gone and some of us like to believe that’s true and even if it is, who cares – it gives us comfort when we need it, and don’t let anybody tell you anything else.

About Nick Lennon-Barrett

Originally from North-West, England, moving to London as an adult and carving out a career as an HR and L&D professional. The writing bug was always there as a child, yet it wasn't until my 30s that I finally did something about it. The joy of working in HR is that you're never short of character inspiration! I'm an enthusiast of both crime and comedy fiction so when I decided to write my first novel my aim was to combine these two genres tackling topical issues in a dark comedy murder mystery. This was the start of the DCI Fenton Murder Trilogy.
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