The enormity of what had happened slowly sunk in. He could stay and face up to what he had done or he could revert to type and flee.
The conflict of emotion was so difficult that his chest contracted painfully with the anxiety. He had actually done it – finally. She always said this would happen. Was she merely mocking him, or was she related to Mystic Meg?
This could be it… forever. He couldn’t go back to normal now, after everything he had said. All the boasting. The bravado, and yet here was the reality. He had failed. Given into his weakness; a moment of madness had changed everything, and yet how could it feel so good. What was that all about? He should feel remorse, yet as he calmed from the shock, there was none.
He’d proved her right, and yet he wasn’t sure it mattered any more. How can that be right? Jack looked in the mirror, those brown eyes which she always described as so doleful looked back at him. There was a glint, a flicker of something sinister. Maybe nobody would find out, but he would know. Could he live with it? He liked to think of himself as an honest guy and yet here he was contemplating something utterly deceitful. It excited him!
For once in his life he would know something that nobody else did; it was an exhilarating feeling. He could feel his legs trembling. Could he really carry on as if nothing happened? What if people found out? They’d judge him, of course they would. Friends and family are the worst judges, yet they stick by you, despite knowing every dirty little secret, and this was a whopper!
Jack was talking himself round; for once he was going to do the right thing for himself. That was what mattered. Yes he was going to shirk his responsibility of setting an example to his kids. What they won’t know, won’t hurt them, but nothing like this can happen again. Can it? They say once you crack things are never the same again. However, he was strong, he would prove them wrong. Yet that was all irrelevant as nobody was going to find out about this night. This one night of madness, that could have changed everything, and yet it Jack wouldn’t allow it to. This was it, he was going to do it.
He reached out his hand to touch. His body tingled. Excitement at being so naughty… if you’re going to do something bad, then you have to do it right… he was going to cheat again.
The next day he sat there with a knowing smile on his face.
“What are you smiling at?” she asked.
“Nothing,” he replied. ‘Everything’ he thought.
He wanted to do it again, but knew that it could only be once a week, or she’d find out.
What’s the big deal anyway he thought? Doesn’t everybody do it?
He smiled contentedly and sat back remembering the previous night, his mouth-watering. The smell, the taste. I mean, come on, who doesn’t cheat on their diet?